A FUN DAY OUT WITH OBAMA

In today's news:

President Obama staged an Olympic rally at the White House on Wednesday, saying the United States was cheering for his hometown of Chicago in it's efforts to host the 2016 Summer Games.

He was joined by first lady Michelle Obama, Olympic and Paralympic athletes, Chicago Mayor Richard Daley and middle school children.

Sith Lord Darth Obama, seen here intimidating the Olympic Rally with his lightsaber skills.

However, the mood soured later in the day when Obama discovered that champion fencer Tim Morehouse, who was in attendance at the Olympic Rally, had previously only won a silver medal at the 2008 Olympics.

An enraged Obama threatens to execute the fencer for failing to win gold. Morehouse begs for mercy.

Obama loses patience and lunges forward, striking a killing blow.

Obama, his bloodlust apparently unsated, then turned on his wife:

"No one will stand in my way" Obama was heard muttering.

Obama then took some time out from his killing rampage to watch some light entertainment:

"HAHAHAHA, yes yes, fight to the death!" - Obama, watching two minions battle

Obama watches on in amusement as the killing blow is dealt.

Later, one of the fencers challenged him to a mock fight:

"Obama doesn't need a weapon!" he said, before swinging a deadly right hook at his opponent. The fencer did not survive.

Obama, seen here using the force to choke a young gymnast for his own gratification.

Obama later finished proceedings by delivering an inspirational speech to the gathered members of United States Olympic Committee:

"All will fear me but follow me!" he yelled shaking his fist, to rousing applause from the crowd.

Obama soon left the area, exclaiming: "So long, suckers!" before flapping his arms furiously:

His approval ratings have never been higher.